Bundles of Joy and Change

Things are changing. Change. It's not really something that most people like to deal with. But change is here in our household.
I'm sure all of you must know by now that Peter and I are expecting our first child mid-July this summer. This means change. Change in schedules, habits, activities, ... Life in general. Now don't take this to mean that I'm not accepting of this change. This is me thinking and contemplating about it. I guess it just hasn't really sunk in yet. I am going to be a mother. When Peter and I started dating, this was a dream of mine that was being realized. What I saw in Peter was great father material. He is going to be so great. I can't wait to watch him. He has this personality that is fun-loving and yet, he knows where to draw the line. He will be able to demand respect from our children and yet, they will love him, trust him, want to be near him. I have seen this in him as we have worked with the youth in the last few years. He is their friend but no their best friend. You get the picture I hope. I'm saying my husband is going to be an awesome dad and that's one of the reasons I married him. I couldn't wait to parent children with him.
So this dream... To be a mom... To teach my kids about Jesus. Oh, that is a privilege I am so looking forward to. I actually think about my baptismal vows daily. My child is a part of a covenant made with him/her by God and he/she doesn't even know it yet. I'm just letting that sink in. I don't know what kind of personality my child will have. Will they be naughty? Will they be good? Will they be rebellious? Will they be sassy? Will they be respectful? And here's the best part: God already knows all this and He already has made a covenant based on the family they're being born into. Baptism is awesome.
I also can't wait to teach my kids music! Ah! I have a captive little audience as is right now. Let me tell ya, if you go to my church, and I jump suddenly while playing, it's now because baby kicks me constantly while in play. Oh it is my favorite part about being pregnant! My baby responds to my playing and singing and I love it! I can't wait to sing to my baby when he/she is born... Whether it's to stop those tears or it's because we're happy and having fun or just praising God!
So back to the change... I have all these wonderful things to look forward to... What's there problem, you ask? Well, no problem... But life will change. Maybe it will be more difficult to serve the church. Maybe it will be more difficult to do things with friends. Maybe I will have to actually quit work all together. I will definitely miss being a part of youth retreats and convention. And that doesn't mean never, maybe it just means not now.
I look at other parents and life seems to go on. It is going to be a huge learning curve learning how to raise a family (!) AND realize that life goes on outside of my home.
I can definitely accept this change. But you know what is going to change most, at least my best guess? ME.
God is trusting this little helpless being to me. He is trusting me with this bundle of joy. It will be difficult to not take too much responsibility for this little person and their faith, how they grow up because ultimately, this child belongs to the Lord. I am not only preparing myself for parenthood and the joys and challenges of that but also to be sanctified. I am not perfect but I am on a journey towards perfection -- to be more and more like Jesus.
So CHANGE. Change is going to be really good. In terms of sanctification, that means blessing even though there are challenges and knowing that God is in absolute control over all things, even little old me... Well... If God is for us, who could possibly be against us? Who?
Hope you enjoyed my musings.
Kelli